


Another Blue Hawaiian

by BeezandBitches



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/F, Reader Insert, The four horsepeople want the best for war but they’re dumb, date spying, olive garden, tumblr ask
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeezandBitches/pseuds/BeezandBitches
Summary: A Reader Insert from A Tumblr Request for Lady-Of-The-Spirit. “The Four Horsepeople Stalk War and the reader on their date.”
Relationships: War/Reader (Good Omens), War/You (Good Omens)
Kudos: 23





	Another Blue Hawaiian

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady_of_the_Spirit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_the_Spirit/gifts).



> The one thing i’m good at is writing WLW concepts. 
> 
> For more content follow me on tumblr @BeezandBitches
> 
> Please enjoy! Wash your hands!! Stay Safe!!

“Are you sure this is where they’re gonna be?” Pollution said from under a large, shady sun hat. Their nose was buried in the menu of an Olive Garden, in an attempt to not be conspicuous. They were clearly failing at that.

“Positive. I snuck a peek at Red’s phone while she was doing her hair this morning. Right address.” Famine said from behind a pair of incredibly expensive sunglasses. “My question is..” He turned to Death, who seemed to have not got the memo about disguises. “Why aren’t you dressed up? We can’t let her see us.”

 **I AM WEARING A DIFFERENT HELMET.** Theyboomed, looking through the menu of day-appropriate alcoholic beverages. Almighty above knew they’d need it by the end of this.

“Shut up! There they are!” Pollution pointed incredibly suspiciously as they saw War and her date walk into the restaraunt. “Don’t be suspcious.”

“That’s a big order coming from you.” Famine whispered as he watched the two of them sit at a table about three spots from where they were. “I can’t believe Carmine hasn’t told us anything about her yet.”

“We don’t even know her name!” Pollution huffed. “What kinda sister keeps her girlfriend from her family?”

 **ONES THAT DONT WISH TO BE STALKED ON THEIR DATES.** Death had a point there, but the others didn’t wanna hear it.

“Sorry I had to reschedule last time..” You apologize to War as the two of you sit down. “You know how crazy it is at the office.”

“It’s no problem, babe.” War said with a smile. “They better not be working you too hard.”

“They’re not, Carm.” You chuckle. “Besides, I like my work.”

“You still deserve better hours.” She said.

As the two of them talked on and on, Pollution and Famine were taking a sleu of notes while Death was getting a Blue Hawaiian.

“So she has a job. Good.” Pollution whispered. “Not a bum.”

“You don’t even have a job.” Famine said.

“Not the point.”

“So, Carm.” You said as you opened your bag. “I got you a little somethin’. Since we’ve been seeing eachother for awhile now.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t of.” War smiled softly.

“I wanted to, though.” You chuckle as you pull out a small box. “I know it’s not much but I hope you like it.”

Inside the box was a sterling silver necklace with a little heart charm. It was certainly cute, and War’s eyes gleamed at the sight of it.

“Y/N L/N, you are the sweetest.” She said as she put it on.

“We got a name!” Pollution whispered frantically as Famine started typing on his phone. “We got a name!”

“Already on it.” He whispered back. “I’m sending it to Frannie. Should have all the info on her in.. 30 minutes.”

 **EXCUSE ME, WAITRESS?** Death motioned to one of the servers. **COULD I PLEASE GET ANOTHER ONE OF THESE DRINKS? I’LL BE NEEDING IT.**

———

After about half an hour of giggling and shmoozing, Famine got a ding on his phone.

“Got the tea?” Pollution asked.

“Her profession, social media, social security number.” Famine nodded.

 **YOU BOTH ARE RIDICULOUS.** Death sighed as he finished his order of shrimp carbonara.

“Why did you even come along if you were just gonna complain the whole time?” Famine asked.

“RAVEN! CHALKY! GRIM!” Pollution and Famine froze as they slowly turned to see War, fire in her eyes and who was certainly _not_ happy.

 **THATS WHY.** Death audibly smirked as War stomped over.

“Heyyyy Red..” Pollution laughed nervously and waved.

“Why the fuck are you _here_?” War asked. “And- why are you dressed like that?

“Can’t we go out to a moderately priced italian restaraunt _without_ you?” Famine tried to deflect the question. “And maybe Chalky likes hats now. Have you asked?”

“You bastards looked at my phone didn’t you?” War crossed her arms.

“…Raven did it!” Pollution said, pointing at Famine.

“Chalky!”

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t kill you with a goddamn after dinner mint?” War groaned.

“Uhhh.. It would look bad infront of your girlfriend?” Pollution suggested as they noticed you walk up.

“Something wrong, Carmine?” You ask. “Who are these people?”

“Y/N,” War could only sigh. “Meet my family.. Raven, Chalky, and Grim.” She motioned to each of them, as they awkwardly waved at you. “Guys, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.”

“Hello.”

“Oh, hi. It’s nice to meet all of you.” You said.

“They came to spy on our date.”

“Well, you haven’t told us anything about her yet!” Pollution said. “Other than she’s pretty and smells like lemonade!”

“Yeah I didn’t want you to embarrass me infront of her! Like you’re doing now!” War groaned. “Y/N, im so sorry-“

“No, no it’s ok. Really. I totally get it, my family is also pretty protective. And kinda nosey.” You say.

“Yeah, I could see that from her hidden twitter page.” Famine muttered to Pollution.

“What?” War and you ask.

“Nothing!”

“Maybe we should have dinner all together another time?” You suggest. “Try again on a different foot?”

“I’d like that.” War sighed, mildly relieved they didn’t scare you off. But before Famine and Pollution could calm down, she glared toward them. “Oh i’ll still kill you both.”

“What about Grim?” Pollution asked.

“Grim isn’t a nosey bitch like you two. He’s just here for the alcohol.”

 **THAT IS TRUE.** Death said as he finished off the last Blue Hawaiian.

That wasn’t the worst date either of you had been on though.


End file.
